Holes In The Darkness-A Novel

CHAPTER 1

Jana Harden, in her Sacks 5th Ave. negligee rocked gently and stirred in her sleep stretching with vague contentment. She turned on her side and reached with desire for the comforting warmth of her husband next to her. Her movement sent waves out in all directions, creating even a stronger rocking sensation. As her head slowly cleared from what she thought was a night of wonderful dreams in the arms of Morpheus, her eyes opened abruptly; she wasn’t in her own bed, and Michael was nowhere to be found.

In mounting panic, Jana searched her mind for some clue as to where she could be, and how she had gotten in a waterbed! As her gaze fell on her surroundings, light reflected off the numerous gold and crystal objects decorating what appeared to her to be a lavish boudoir. Fear gripped her. Trembling and with pounding heart, she clutched at the sheets as her voice cried out, “Michael!” nothing but silence. Again, “Michael!” and still there was no response.

She had to find Michael. As she attempted to scramble out of the bed, the silk sheets combined with the slippery full-length nightgown caused her to slide back into her sloshing prison. Still, in a state of frenzy, she once again tried to escape, and only by arching her back over the stuffed velvet railing did she finally succeed. Rushing toward the nearest door, she froze in her tracks because standing before her was a sight so shocking it caused her whole being to shiver with icy cold disbelief. A reflection from one of the mirror-adorned walls confronted her. It was that of a statuesque, tawny beauty. She stared with both astonishment and surprise, totally in denial that it could possibly be her.

Where had all her extra weight gone? Why was her hair no longer short or the mousy brown color it had been just the night before? She observed in amazement that her hair had never been so gorgeous, as the full-bodied, golden locks with their red highlights glistened in the early morning light. It appears to be at least a foot longer and her face seemed much thinner. Although she appeared younger, she knew her age to be twenty-nine; after all, her birthday had just been the previous week.

Reaching up, she stroked her soft creamy complexion; she wondered in awe what had transformed it overnight to its now healthful glow. She almost blushed with embarrassment, at the sight of the slender sensuous lines of her voluptuous figure, accentuated by the silky see-through negligee, both of which were not at all familiar. The whole situation seemed impossible. Yet, as she stood there looking into those emerald green eyes, she saw her own soul residing within this exquisite yet unfamiliar creature looming before her.

Confused thoughts were racing through her mind. This whole nightmare couldn’t be happening, she thought. But here she was, and no matter how preposterous, this didn’t seem to be a dream. In her shock-like confusion, she tried to recall: What was the last thing that happened before she went to sleep? Where had she been the night before? She finally calmed down enough to remember. That’s right, Michael and she had gone on a camping trip. They were excited because it was their first real vacation, since their honeymoon four years before. They rented a camper for a week and drove down to Lake Taneycomo in the heart of the Ozark mountains. The romantic adventure had taken on an air of excitement with the smell of spring, the green vastness of the Ozark landscape, and the clear blueness of the meandering lake. Michael and she had gone to sleep in each other’s arms, in a sleeping bag, on the lakes shore, beneath an infinite ceiling of twinkling stars.

How could she possibly have gotten from there into this bedroom? That fear was creeping back again and Jana tried to shake it off thinking, Get hold of yourself, girl—You need your wits about you!

Maybe, if she looked around, she could get an idea of where she was and why she was here in the lap of luxury. The room was more elegant than anything Jana had seen in her sheltered life. She thought that places like this only existed in the movies. Maybe she was dreaming and soon would wake-up next to the lake, listening to the mating sounds of the Whippoorwills, with Michael holding her close, thwarting off the chill of the morning dew.

Then she spotted something that might answer some of her many questions. She again started across the gigantic room and approached a set of blue floor-length curtains. They were glowing intensely from the filtered rays of the rising sun, creating eeriness throughout the room. Grabbing at the warm fabric, she knew that this was no dream; it was all too real. As she started to pull the drawstring to appease her overwhelming need to discover what lay beyond, her concentration was suddenly broken and reality was reinforced, by a voice that shattered the silence.

“Mrs. Davenport?”

Startled, Jana spun around and standing before her was a woman, all decked out in an amazingly short cute little maids uniform complete with silk stockings and a frilly white apron. If she wasn’t so severely concerned about the situation, she probably would have laughed out loud at this woman’s stereotypical appearance.

“Mrs. Davenport, your picture is in the paper again. I would imagine you’d like to cut it out and add it to your scrapbook.” The maid stated, as she dropped a newspaper and a pair of scissors on a table and started to make up the bed.

Jana realized the maid must be talking to her since she was the only other person in the room. For the first time since she had awakened, Jana felt relieved to find out that she wasn’t the victim of a kidnapping, although she was still baffled as to her apparent lack of memory and strange appearance. Why was the maid calling her Mrs. Davenport? she wondered, still in a dismal state of confusion from the growing mystery.

Realizing that Victoria wasn’t moving or replying, the maid looked up and saw Mrs. Davenport just standing there looking at her like she was some stranger.

“Are you okay Mrs. Davenport? You look so pale.”

“Yes…yes I’m fine, I…just a little tired.” Jana stammered. She had heard horror stories about nut houses, and to be discovered in her current state of mind, would definitely qualify her as a full-time tenant in one, so she felt it necessary to hide her true feelings of total disorientation.

Jana anxiously picked up the newspaper, it was the LA Times. There before her was a picture of the “Mrs. Davenport” with a man. The caption below stated, “Mr. And Mrs. Charles Davenport present winner’s cup to the Highland Springs Country Club golf champions”.

Mr. & Mrs. Davenport? Jana thought, glancing at the top of the page. The paper was dated May 5, l999. Jana felt a surge of darkness overtake her, as she sank into oblivion, collapsing in a heap on the designer carpet.

Someone was stroking her face with a cool cloth. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into the worried face of the maid. Jana groaned to herself. It wasn’t a dream. She really was here, and really had lost five years of her life. The only conclusion that came to Jana’s mind was that she must have had amnesia for the past five years.

“Do you want me to call a doctor for you, Ma’am?” the maid asked worriedly.

“No…no…I’ll be fine,” Jana replied obstinately.

The maid gave her an “I’m not so sure about that” look and helped her over to a sectional sofa where she forced her to sit down.

“Well, at least you can drink some water.” The maid insisted as she reached up and pushed a button which was on a small console on the arm of the couch. A section of the wall rotated revealing a mini-bar. The maid poured a glass of water and Jana’s hand shook as she took the glass from her saying, “Thank you.”

Drinking the water, Jana shook still in disbelief that five years of her life could utterly vanish. She was fighting to keep a semblance of composure; when the maid, once again, brought her back to reality.

“Would you like to rest for now, or should….”

“No…no.” Jana interrupted, having to intentionally soften her voice. “I’ll be okay. Just get me the scrapbook, please.”

The maid walked over to a set of double-doors and opened them revealing a huge walk-in closet. It was lined with clothes along both sides and at the back of the closet was a built-in set of drawers. She opened the third drawer and removed a large dog-eared looking book. Carefully closing the double-doors behind her, she returned to Jana with the scrapbook.

Jana had concluded that she must get the maid out of the room. She still hadn’t investigated the view behind those blue curtains and she also needed a chance to look at the scrapbook in private. She hoped that they might give her a clue as to what could possibly be going on.

She asked the maid, “Would you please get me some breakfast?” Wondering how you talk to a maid. Jana hadn’t ever met one before, let alone had one to order around.

“But I never….” the maid started to say.

“I know I’ll feel a lot better,” interrupted Jana, “if I can just get some food in my stomach.”

“Well….I’ll have to see what we have in the kitchen. Is there anything, in particular, you would like?”

“No…Anything breakfasty will do.” Jana replied, rather briskly. She didn’t want to waste any more time talking.

Finally, the maid left the room, allowing Jana to jump up and rush over to the window to look outside. She stood there stunned and a little dizzy from the totally unexpected, yet grand view which stretched out before her astonished eyes. She was not in a house, as she had thought, but at the top of a very high building. It seemed as if she was at the very peak of a glorious city. Maybe she was in heaven, she thought, although she had never really imagined heaven to be quite like this. She looked down. Directly below her was a wide avenue, bustling with traffic and beyond was a shopping district of about five or six square blocks. There seemed to be an overly abundant number of theaters. Further out was all residential and then there was what looked like a vast park with buildings scattered about.

Could this be L.A., as indicated by the newspaper? She speculated to herself. She didn’t know for sure, but she did know that she had never seen this city before. All she had ever known were the simple towns of the mid-west with their little town squares. This was overwhelming. How was she ever going to survive here?

Jana opened the scrapbook and noticed that the first clipping was from October 10, 1994, still leaving six months unaccounted for. The picture gave her a sinking feeling. It was of her with Mr. Charles Davenport on their wedding day. How could she possibly have married this man, when she was not only married to Michael but completely devoted to him. She knew he was the only man for her. Browsing through the scrapbook, she saw a whole new life that had developed over the past four years. There was a picture of her with three other people, all with tennis rackets, at a country club having played at a charity benefit. Considering how terrible she had been at tennis in high school, she wondered how she could have helped raise any money. There were stories of her having played at or organized charity events for golf, tennis, and polo.

There were pictures of her in elegant dresses at charity balls. Jana marveled at the beauty of the dresses, they were like something she might only have seen on TV, with all the sequined and silky materials.

But, Jana felt the hardest stories and pictures to accept were the ones of her travels. There were pictures of her in front of Big Ben, standing next to the Acropolis, under the Eiffel Tower and even looking like a small speck next to the Pyramid of Giza. There were many other pictures of other parts of the world, and of her with unfamiliar influential dignitaries but these she didn’t recognize. These pictures of her travels and conquests made her angry not only because she had not been able to share these with Michael, but also because she had always wanted to travel, and here she had been over most of the world and she couldn’t remember any of it.

Mixed with this show of elegance emerged a story, revealing the enormous amounts of charity work Victoria had done even in foreign countries. There were clippings depicting Victoria as having raised literally millions of dollars for charitable organizations worldwide that she had never heard of. It seemed impossible that Jana, even as Victoria, could have the knowledge and sophistication to accomplish these feats.

She stopped at one of the photographs and tears ran down her cheeks, as she looked at the handsome face of Charles Davenport. He looked like he was in his late thirties and standing next to Victoria, he seemed about ten inches taller than her five foot three inches. With a full head of wonderful dark hair and a classic face with high cheekbones, he looked like a movie star. Such a difference from Michael. Michael, who was thirty (he would be thirty-five now), was losing his hair; and what he did have was kind of reddish blond. His face was just ordinary, with freckles scattered across his straight nose; but he had the most beautiful sky blue eyes which reflected the kindness and goodness of his very soul.

The tears ran freely now. How she ached to be with Michael, look into those eyes, wrap herself in his strong arms, and lose herself in his unselfish love. She remembered the little things he used to do and say like, whenever she would ask him what he would like to do about something, he would say, “I want to do whatever will make you happy”. Jana sometimes thought he said that just to get out of making decisions, but she also knew that paramount in his mind was making her completely happy and she was. They were so much in tune with each other that their thoughts were identical and at times even their dreams were about the same things. Their love was like a fairy book story, so complete and so comfortable. Each time she looked at him, she swelled with love, wanting to touch him continuously, hating the times when they had to be apart. She also knew within her heart that Michael felt the same way. They said “I love you” to each other many times a day simply because that was how they felt.

Looking down again at the scrapbook, she let out an ironic laugh. Here she was living the dream that almost every woman who lived an ordinary life had ever dreamed; suddenly, she was rich, beautiful and married to a successful and extremely handsome man. It was just her luck that she had also left behind the most wonderful man and the most wonderful marriage that anyone could have possibly imagined.

Memories of that marriage suddenly struck terror in Jana’s heart as the awful thought came to her that something might have happened to Michael. What if he had married someone else because he thought she was dead. Or even worse, what if he had died and she would never see or hold him again. A strong resolve came to Jana at that point, no matter what happened, she must do everything within her power and must devote all her resources to the finding of Michael, even if she might be hurt by the outcome. But beyond all cost, she needed to know that he was alright and happy.

With a new determination, she went back to the scrapbook knowing that she had to learn everything she could about Victoria. Impersonating Victoria was not going to be easy, but she needed time to find Michael. She read the newspaper articles over and over again, studying the names and faces of the people Victoria was associated with and their relationship to her.

It all seemed pretty overwhelming, as she thought the whole situation over, in contrast to her memories of the small mid-western town where she had known only a simple life. How could this possibly be her?

She had not had any experience of being with the rich or knowing how to act around them. Her mother was a homemaker and her father worked in a lumber mill. It was through him that she met Michael. Michael had come to work at the lumber mill and her father and he became close friends. Her dad invited him home for dinner and it was one of those cases of love at first sight that you always hear about. They were married just six months later and had been happily married for four years now, well as of 1994. Michael was ambitious. He had been taking a night class or two at the Southwest Missouri State University in addition to working full time at the mill for the full four years they had been married. She had missed him terribly but understood his need to make her life better. He was such a wonderful husband. How she ached for him now since, to her, she had left him just last night.

She looked back down at the scrapbook and studied the picture of herself. It said her new name was “Victoria”. Glancing in the mirror Jana thought to herself that the name fit her new image.

There was a soft knock on the door and Jana said, “Come in.”

The maid brought in a tray with a poached egg on whole wheat toast and a cup of tea with a jar of honey. As she sat the tray down, she said. “I managed to find some of your favorites in the kitchen.”

Jana kind of laughed to herself because she realized Victoria’s taste in food must be the same as hers. She wondered how many other similarities there would be.

Jana said, “thank you,” deciding that one couldn’t be too polite, even to a maid. Knowing Victoria must be a busy woman she then asked, “Would you please check my appointments for today?”

The maid said, “Certainly ma’am” and walked over to a desk. The maid looked in an appointment book and said, “You only have one appointment, at 2:30, with your hairdresser. I’ll have the limousine brought around at two. It’s a good thing that your schedule is light today; you’re obviously not feeling well.”

Jana was relieved. Although she knew the hairdresser would be hard to face, at least the meeting wasn’t with a personal friend that would make hard demands on her act of impersonating Victoria. And after all, she might learn something from the hairdresser, since they just love to talk!

“Oh yes,” the maid remarked, “Mr. Davenport is supposed to call you from Denver sometime this afternoon.”

Jana realized she needed to know when Mr. Davenport was expected to return. Hoping that the maid didn’t think it was odd, Jana asked, “I’ve forgotten, when is Mr. Davenport supposed to be home?”

Luckily, the maid didn’t react strangely as she stated, “When I last talked to him he indicated that his business would be finished in five days. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.”

The maid having delivered the last statement with an air of superiority made Jana feel the need to reply with, “He did, I had just forgotten.” Adding, “I won’t need you for a while,” Emphasizing with. “And I’ll call you when I do.”

Jana dug into her breakfast, realizing suddenly that she was hungry. While eating, she glanced about the room again and every item, drawer, and door presented an air of not only curiosity but held a veil of mystery and intrigue between Jana and the truth. By the time she had finished her visual survey of the room; her imagination was running wild with incredible scenarios of what might have occurred to bring her to this strange reality.

After she finished eating, Jana headed for the desk hoping to find more information about Victoria. She wanted to try and fill in the final details about this mystery woman who was herself.

It was a beautiful, handcrafted solid oak desk but yet was of simple construction with a drawer under the center of the writing top and three drawers below on the right side. On the top of the desk was a lamp and Victoria’s appointment book which she would deal with later. Sitting in the needlepoint covered chair, she eagerly pulled open the drawer in front of her. Inside was stationary, pens, pencils and everything else needed for correspondence. Closing that drawer, she opened the top drawer on the right and found an address book. Glancing through it, she noticed that there were notations next to the names and addresses stating how important each person was and their relationship to Victoria. This will come in handy, Jana thought. Putting the book back, she pulled out the second drawer and to her surprise found a small carved wooden box that looked like an antique. The inside of the box was lined in velvet and nestled within was a key. It looked like an antique skeleton key only shorter than the ones she had remembered seeing before and the head was decorated in a beautiful ornate filigree pattern. Oh boy, she thought, how was she ever going to find out what this key was for? She figured it must be important since it was in this box, but yet it wasn’t in a safe. With the richness of this room, she knew there was probably a safe somewhere in the penthouse and figured that its location and combination were probably a secret known only to Victoria and her “husband”. Oh well, she would have to deal with that later, along with the secret of the key. Putting the box away, she went on to the third drawer finding a book. It was thick but just an ordinary book titled “Last Run”. Scanning through the worn pages, she noticed there were notations in the margins and some words were underlined.

Jana sighed. There was so much to learn yet it seemed as if Victoria had left her all this information just for this occasion. Maybe Victoria knew that someday she would be gone, and Jana would come back. Did Victoria know Jana’s past or even that there was a Jana? She wondered. Well, perhaps she would find the rest of the information she needed to know in Victoria’s belongings.

Having to be ready to go to the hairdressers at 2:00, she glanced at the clock on her bedside table and saw that it was 11 o’clock, plenty of time to look at the appointment book and check out the closet for more clues.

Jana sat for a moment. Her stomach was churning and she couldn’t sit still. She walked over to the closet and stepped inside, jumping a little as a light automatically came on. Looking around she felt as if she had entered a department store. Shuffling through the dozens of outfits hanging from the closet rods, she was overwhelmed by the beautiful colors and textures of materials that her hands caressed. Toward the back of the closet were a number of little built-in boxes and inside them were shoes two pairs deep. It seemed to Jana that there were enough shoes to fill a shoe store. In the very back of the closet were the drawers where the maid had gotten Victoria’s scrapbook. Opening the top drawer, she found sweaters of all different colors and types. Hoping to find some more information, she searched beneath the sweaters but to no avail. Closing the double-doors behind her, Jana wondered how one person could have so many clothes. It rather brought home to her the scarcity of her own wardrobe which consisted of five blouses, two skirts, three dresses and four pairs of pants. But then again, all of those things probably didn’t exist anymore and this closet full of clothes was now hers.

Walking back over to the desk and opening the appointment book, Jana’s heart sank. How was she ever going to keep pace with Victoria? she wondered, especially with all the people she was in contact with every day. Jana started thinking of all the excuses she could use to get out of the busy schedule. Maybe she could say she was sick. Let’s see, she could have measles, or maybe she could say she had amnesia. She giggled to herself and wondered how she could joke at a time like this. Perhaps it was her way of trying to stay sane in what was to her a very insane situation.

Then an idea struck Jana. She quickly opened the first drawer in the desk and pulled out the address book. Victoria had to have at least one good friend that maybe Jana could trust to help her. Looking through the pages of the book, she read the notations next to the names. There was lots of information, it almost seemed as if Victoria felt she had a bad memory, (“Little does she know”, Jana couldn’t help joking) but she was disappointed to find nothing to indicate any close personal relationships with any of the people listed. It looked as if she would have to go at this one alone.

Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was already 1:00 and that she had better get ready for her appointment. At least she didn’t have to worry about fixing her hair before she left. As she walked toward the bathroom, Jana idly thought to herself, with all the things she had seen so far the bathroom would probably be incredible and stepping inside she found that be a gross understatement.

No cold linoleum to walk on here. The floor was covered in plush carpet thicker than that in the bedroom. And the size, well, it was bigger than her living room at home, anyway what used to be her home. It was very feminine, done in pink with a large pink sunken bathtub. Jana climbed the two steps up to the tub and saw it was very deep and had a built-in Jacuzzi. There was an atrium behind the tub with lush green plants inside which allowed light to stream down through the leaves leaving patterns on the tub and floor. Over in the corner, of the atrium, was a little waterfall that gave off the most delightful sound.

There was a door allowing her to lie out among the plants, drink in the sun and relax to the sound of the waterfall. On the wall adjacent to the atrium there was a television screen with a retractable keyboard. She pushed a key and there before her was a complete rundown of the weather. It was clear, eighty-two degrees, humidity ten percent and steady. Jana couldn’t believe her eyes.

The side of the room with the door had pink wicker chairs and a hamper. Next to the hamper were wicker shelves which held beautiful pink plush towels.

Stepping to the other side of the room, Jana found that the mirrors above the sink swung out revealing moisturizers, eye cream, mascara, and all the make-up that Victoria would need to enhance the beauty that she possessed. Taking out some of the compacts and jars, Jana wondered what some of them were used for. Abandoning the make-up, Jana opened a door and found a closet where there were nightgowns, robes, slippers and more differently shaded pink towels. When she opened a second door she found a sauna. Recognizing the shower, Jana stripped off her nightgown and climbed inside. At first, she couldn’t understand how it worked and in her frustration blurted out “How do you turn this blasted thing on?!”. As she said the word “ON”, like magic it started to rain. The water was falling from lots of tiny holes in the ceiling. The drops were cold and brought immediate goosebumps to Jana’s delicate smooth creamy flesh. With the shock of the icy water and with hardening nipples, she jumped out of the shower. She thought to herself, “That was a dirty trick” as if it was Victoria’s fault. She grabbed a towel and started drying off and again speaking out loud, said: “Now how am I suppose to turn this thing off?!” Then, with the word “OFF”, the water ceased to fall. Only then did she realize that it must be voice operated. It didn’t take her long and she determined that the shower understood lots of words like “Warmer, Colder, Harder, Softer, Rain, Spray, and even numbers corresponding to shower-heads strategically placed on all sides of the shower. She adjusted the control back to the first setting only this time at a comfortable temperature. Standing there letting the “RAIN” fall from the ceiling, she suddenly felt alone. So very alone. Thinking about it, she had no one in the world to turn to. Michael was her whole life. All she had ever wanted out of life and she had no idea even if he was alive.

Tears began to slide down the beautiful face and she started to shake all over. As her mind was finally diverted from the novelty of the rooms she had been searching, the impact of what was happening to her engulfed her like a tide pulling her into a deep dark sea. Sliding down to the floor Jana sat in the rain and sobbed. It was a heart-wrenching sobbing from her very soul, she moaned, gasping in huge gulps of air, crying out for the peace that she had once known. She was frightened because she knew somehow that the road ahead would be a long and possibly dangerous one.

Finally, when there were no more tears left inside her to shed, Jana composed herself enough to finish her shower but even in her despair she couldn’t help but enjoy the fine scent of Lilacs from the soap that emphasized the richness about her. Climbing out and dragging herself over to the mirrors she wondered how she was ever going to look like Victoria. Victoria, who did her makeup so perfectly. Then Jana remembered a colored picture of Victoria she had seen in the other room so she went and got it. With her hands still shaking it seemed as if every stroke of eye-shadow, eyeliner and mascara hopelessly smeared. But after using a lot of tissues; finally, her appearance somewhat resembled Victoria’s.

Going into the bedroom she opened the chest of drawers and rummaged around looking for underwear, but it seemed that Victoria didn’t own anything simple, so Jana had to wear a beautiful blue lace silk teddy with ribbons running down the front. In the closet she decided she would dress as simply as she could, so she put on one of the pairs of jeans and a beautiful sequined T-shirt, perfect for the weather she had learned about from the Monitor. After putting on some tennis shoes, she figured she was ready. Looking herself over was no problem since there were mirrors all over the bedroom and bathroom. Thinking she looked pretty good in her new slender body, she hoped that Victoria would have approved in her choice of clothes.

Deciding it was time to go, Jana thanked her lucky stars, again, that Victoria had a limousine and driver. The thought of having to find herself around in this huge city alone terrified her. As she started to leave, Jana found Victoria’s purse. Searching through it, she found nothing but a comb, lipstick, keys, compact, and wallet. Looking through the wallet, she was shocked to find nearly a thousand dollars in cash and almost every conceivable credit card that one could have. Noticing the signature on them, she realized that Victoria’s signature was very different from her own and that she would have to practice writing it. There was only one picture. It was of Victoria and her husband, Charles. The driver’s license wasn’t very flattering, as usual.

No matter how terrifying the thought of facing the world, her resolve would have to be stronger than ever. She realized it was essential for her to reflect the inner confidence that went along with her new role. For if she was to find out what had happened to her and was to find Michael, she would need the power of being Mrs. Charles Davenport and the money that went along with it. The one discouraging thought that kept trying to creep into her fragile mind and that Jana was trying to keep out, was her relationship with Charles Davenport because right now that was too frightening. After all, since he was on a business trip, she had at least five days until he returned, so she could just not think about it.